Total War

Last Sunday, I accepted the challenge put forth to me by a few of my younger Korean students and met them face-to-face on the field of virtual battle. The PC room located on the first floor of my building served as the venue for our epic showdown, our combat medium none other than the perennial “Starcraft.” The result? Let’s just say it was the first, and hopefully last, time I’ve ever been so thoroughly humiliated by third graders.

The war consisted of two separate battles, and in both cases I chose to deploy as Terrans whilst I faced down Zerg and Protoss opponents. I hoped to capitalize on the Terran’s excellent defensive capabilities to maximize my lifetime on the battlefield, as I considered victory far from reach. Instead, I merely hoped to see if, and how, the Koreans lived up to their reputation as a nation of “Starcraft” champs. My observations proved quite enlightening.

While pro gamer leagues exist in the U.S., the fact that anyone would want to watch the matches live on television seems a little far fetched. But here in Korea, there is a channel devoted 24-7 to that one purpose. After engaging in play with my pint-sized opponents, I began to see how such a thing is possible. The most important thing to understand is that they play the RTS in a manner far different from anything I had seen back in the States. In most of my RTS experience, people simply find a build order that specializes in producing a mass amount of one unit faster than their opponents, thereby earning a victory. Such a method merely involves a little trial and error in discovering which particularly unit is favorably unbalanced.

Koreans, however, take a much faster and looser approach that emphasizes quick hits determined to exploit an enemies weakness, followed by a more concentrated attack. Generally, they seize one or two expansions and then focus their forces near the center of the map. This loosely assembled group serves to probe enemy bases or respond to attacks, while raiding units and drop ships lurk behind the front. They constantly raid you, but rarely commit their entire force. Whatever you build, they build to counter you. Once you show sufficient weakness, then comes the main thrust.

Unlike Western players, who tend to focus on building one overwhelming force for one overwhelming attack, Korean players have their armies spread more thinly. While this at first seemed an advantage to me, I soon realized that it allowed them to attack repeatedly and from multiple angles, thus distracting me from building that all powerful army. This also lured my units out of position so they could swoop for a devastating counterattack.

Another gulf also separated myself from my victorious foes, the sheer speed by which they do everything . The mouse clicking is constant and it clicks all over the place. They check units, then buildings, then workers, moving the screen all over the map with surprising zeal. Control groups are discarded and defense is minimal, but effective. Building, expanding, attacking, upgrading, raiding, more tasks than I could possible hope to execute in an orderly fashion.

In the end, the overall speed, tactical discipline and instant adaptability inherent in the Korean style of play was unlike anything I had ever seen. It presented an entirely new way to play and think about the game. It’s no wonder the game is elevated to the level of a national sport, they play it with the a level of skill, execution and dedication that is the hallmark of any sport, from American football to curling. And all this, just from third graders. I shudder to think how I would have fared against the likes of two-time World Cyber Games champion Lim Yo-Hwan.

More minerals required: For everything you ever wanted to know about the Korean gaming scene, check out TeamLiquid, a foreigner (a.k.a. non-Korean) run Web site which posts videos of big pro league matches complete with English commentary.

The “Best” Holiday Season Ever?

This fall has brought an impressive rooster of games along with the usual cries of “best holiday video game season everz!” How patriotic of the industry, to soldier on while the rest of the economy is in the toilet properly. While I can’t corroborate these wild claims, I can admit that I don’t think there’s ever been so many games out at one period that I have oh-so-desperately wanted to play. Sadly, while my passion for electronic entertainment knows no bounds, my free time has a painfully finite limit. Compounding my misfortune is that unlike all you lucky people stateside I can’t simply take a trip down to the local Wal-Mart when I feel a jonesin’. Instead, I have to get all games shipped through Hong Kong, a process that usually takes around 2-3 weeks.

Item# 1: Congratulations, Your King of the Dorks

After months of waiting, the latest “World of Warcraft” expansion has become old news . Some French guy got level 80 in roughly the space of a day and a super clan downed all the raid bosses in a couple. Yawn. I’ve played my fair share of WoW and the only feeling a remember from any marathon sessions was an overwhelming sense of shame. I can’t imagine how these guys feel, must be awful.

Item #2: Certain Doom

Damn, somebody else is reporting on stuff going down in Korea. They’ve totally beat me at my own game. The gist is that Korean company NCsoft, responsible for both “Lineage” games, has garnered an overwhelming response in the beta test for their next MMO among the home crowd. While the article tells you that Lineage has always been popular among Koreans, I can personally attest that images of the game plaster the signs for most PC rooms in Korea. Oh wait, you don’t know about PC rooms? Perhaps you should read this.

I can tell you without exaggeration that I talk to my students about video games every day. I shall have to inquire about this “Aion” game and see how it holds up to the impeccable standards of my 1st grade “Starcraft” pros. Honestly, I hope NCsoft isn’t targeting the 8-12 demographic ’cause those kids are absolutely hooked into “Maple Story.” There’s even novel-sized comic books based on the game that most kids (boys and girls) carry around. I should know, I’ve confiscated enough of them from overzealous fans during my classes.

On a side note, what started as a joke quickly spread like wildfire through the halls of my English language academy and I suddenly found myself scheduled for a “Starcraft” showdown with several of my third grade students on Sunday afternoon. Such a match-up can only result in my utter defeat. My sole hope is to convert the best players to my cause where some team play can overcompensate for my lack of skills. Seriously, there is a TV channel devoted 24-7 to this game; I’m going down.

Item #3 : Getting Steamed

In an effort to engage in some joint transatlantic RTS action on the cheap, myself and a few friends purchased copies of “Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War, Gold Edition” from Valve’s proprietary service, Steam. After playing the tutorial, I was quite excited to try it out against my human foes. However, when I attempted to log in to the online matchmaking service, I received an error that I was quite accustomed to though still surprised to get, “CD Authentication failed.” You see, this was something that happened to me often when I was attempting to crack a game, but never when I had ACTUALLY PURCHASED IT, YOU A**HOLES! Lo and behold, my friends encountered the exact same error.

A little digging revealed the fact that while developer Relic can make a decent RTS, they apparently fail at something even people who make crappy games get right. Often, the game’s installation will write the CD key into Windows registry wrong, even if you enter it correctly during the install. Worse, this has been happening since the first Dawn of War game and has continued into every single expansion. Worst, even manually changing the key in the Windows registry doesn’t fix the problem. It could be a problem with your router. Or maybe they misprinted the !#$!% CD key inside the manual. Then again, it’s possible they gave you one that was 20 digits instead of 16. At the very least, you can call customer service for three weeks until they fix it on their end. Idiots.

So, now it’s just me, hordes of customer service personnel and a host of possible solutions. I just can’t wait until I spend hours and hours working toward a fix that I shouldn’t have to make in the first place. Oh, hey did you know the highly anticipated sequel “Dawn of War II” is coming out? Yeah, don’t buy it, I heard it’s going to suck.

Item #4: The Rock Never Dies

“Guitar Hero” and “Rock Band” continue to be popular. Honestly, I stopped paying attention after number three, but I guess their is still rock music out there to be reduced to a sequence of colored dots. At this point, I shudder to think the depths those song lists must be plumbing.

Further Side Note:

Man, Steven Seagal is perhaps one of the worse action movie heros of all time. It’s not even the hopelessly B-listness of the films but more his completely and totally bland delivery. He beats Keanu Reeves in that department hands down. His I-just-kicked-your-ass, movie-ending line to this cinematic gem? “Nobody beats me in my kitchen!” I missed the first part of the movie, so I can only guess Segal’s hobby is … cooking? Damn man, hardcore … hardcore.

Ahem, I apologize for the drastically negative tone of this post. Maybe if certain parties could program their games correctly I could have enjoyed Mr. Segal’s action-packed POS or WoW’s social life crippling success.

Notes from the Field

Sorry, dear readers, for my extended absence here on the blog, but my Korean teaching gig has been demanding of late. It’s vacation season here, and I’ve been filling in for a couple of instructors who took a holiday (and taking a trip or two of my own). Since I’m on the subject of my erstwhile home, I thought I would dispel some myths and reinforce some stereotypes about the gaming culture here in Korealand.

The image on everybody’s mind when South Korea comes up is a legion “Starcraft”-obsessed pros who can Zerg rush you in no less than five separate ways. While it is true that there is a television channel which broadcasts professional S’craft matches 24-7 (complete with over-enthusiastic announcers), its place in Korean culture is hardly monolithic.

Among the younger set, the game de jour is the “free” online MMORPG “Maple Story.” Its popularity is due to the fact that most Koreans play PC Games (no one here plays video games) away from the comfort of their own home. Instead, in an effort to escape the watchful eye of strict mothers, they congregate at the ubiquitous PC Rooms that occupy most Korean buildings. The owners of these businesses are cheap bastards, so they don’t splurge on the computing equipment. Therefore, 10-year-old games like “Starcraft” and simple downloadable affairs such as “Maple Story” feature prominently. In addition, the friendly and colorful design lures them in.

Among teenagers, there might be one game that actually surpasses “Starcraft” in popularity. The game pops on the PC Game channel every once in a while and, from what I can tell, seems to be a cheap-looking “Counterstrike” ripoff. Called “Sudden Attack,” the mere mention of it can sometimes cause students to start reeling off a list of the game’s available weapons (”AK-47, M16, Sniper!”), which is kinda disturbing when it’s coming from a sixth grader. If you ever meet any young Koreans, mention “Sudden Attack” and I guarantee it will earn you instant credibility.

In closing, I’d like to come to the defense of the Koreans. While it is true they like to play computer games, there simply isn’t much time available between the 10-12 hours of school they attend six days a week. The average U.S. teen easily matches their fervor. Just check out the Youtube video of the guy getting a 100 percent on “Through the Fire and the Flame” or all those damn-near impossible achievements for Xbox 360 games. It’s clear, we love to waste our time in front of the screen, too.

-Frank